Session 1: Perils and Punches

10/27/21

This session was played on 10/27/21

Roster

“Long John” Johnson – Warrior
Antonio Scaramucci – Assassin
Sillius McGoogle – Magic-user

Session Report

The Hook: Rumors in Jeffco

The game opened with the players reviewing the news and rumors Patrons had left in the Discord server. Leads included:

Tracking down small basement fight clubs rumored to be spreading across the city
Following directions from an anonymous letter and joining adventurers delving into the Undercity
Investigating heretics on behalf of the Patriarch
Attending a carnival on the plains outside Jeffco Tower

The group elected to pursue the fight clubs, hoping to either participate or make some profitable wagers. They searched for men who looked overworked, tense, and ready to release some aggression. Eventually, they found Jack, a dockworker who pointed them toward the Spam n’ Salmon Tavern in The Sink—a half-abandoned district built inside a massive sinkhole.

A Brush with Death

On the way to the tavern, the party was ambushed by four giant bats. With their small numbers and abysmal dice rolls, the fight nearly ended in disaster. “Long John” Johnson almost died in his very first battle but instead contracted rabies.

Rules Note: Using the DMG tables (pp. 13–14), rabies has only a 1–2 in 8 chance of being mild. “Long John” will need to roll at the start of the next session to determine severity—or find a Cure Disease spell, which is problematic since no one in the party is a cleric.

The Spam n’ Salmon

Bloodied but alive, the adventurers staggered into the Spam n’ Salmon Tavern. First priority: food and drink. They ordered Hanisee, a dark, sugary cognac popular in The Sink, and the tavern’s namesake salmon… which turned out to be spam-cakes shaped into fillets.

Scanning the bar, they spotted two cauliflower-eared bruisers, but before approaching, an obnoxiously loud man burst in. He recounted a story he found hilarious: three adventurers being harassed by bats. He pointed out the party, but they were too wounded to retaliate—and didn’t want legal trouble before finding the fight club.

Soon after, a cloaked female cleric approached their table. She was in hiding from the Church, which is cracking down on women serving as clerics. The party paid her for healing but never asked about curing disease or tried to recruit her as a henchman.

Distractions and Challenges

Back at their booth, “Long John” was challenged to a drinking contest. Bets were placed, rounds escalated, and after three grueling rounds he preserved his honor and his winnings. Before he could pocket the cash, however, the tavern was suddenly held up by the Booga Brothers—one of the most infamous revolutionary music groups in Krozpont.

The “hold-up” quickly turned into a performance, explained away as a “you lackin” challenge, and soon the tavern’s customers were too caught up in the show to notice anything else.

The party slipped out the back, where they spotted the cauliflower-eared men leaving and tried to tail them. Meanwhile, Antonio followed a bag-man from the Spam n’ Salmon to a warehouse guarded by Booga Brothers associates. After observing but taking no risks, he regrouped with the others, who had discovered a locked door behind some dumpsters. Antonio finally picked it after forty minutes of effort.

Into the Fight Club

Inside, the party descended to find a basement full of men mid-brawl. Dozens turned to greet the intruders with an excitement reserved for those eager to beat experience into fresh meat.

Antonio accepted a fight. The other two were forced out with the rule:

“Only fighters are allowed in the basement. If you stay in the basement, you’re a fighter.”

“Long John” secured a bet on Antonio’s victory. While waiting outside, he and Sillius were attacked by a giant rat but managed to defeat it. Antonio eventually emerged bloodied and bruised—but victorious.

Downtime Plans

With the fight club discovered and survived, the adventurers began plotting their downtime actions:

Antonio – Seek out the leader of the local crime syndicate
Sillius McGoogle – Look for a cleric to study under
“Long John” Johnson – Train hand-to-hand skills at the gymnasium